i've made so many mistakes but when i wake up dreaming i feel so free

and when i shower and feel the hot water down my face and push the heavy hair from my eyes
feel the nutrients that made it the habits that hurt it my body my skin and my bones to a song i love

with wet fingers i write



i want your touch your sweat your eyes your body i want us both entwined and strung up in that plum tree

i know nothing of you and know i want all of you



wings are nothing without witness

hypocrite and a fool but i want you to see this



i step out and face myself in the mirror and my heart sinks into my stomach

and so i clean up my brows with a safety razor, because that's the best i can do about that today



and so i see it clearly now

shrug it off and move the music to my bedroom

have the feeling a bit longer



the other day, wrong turn to the soccer field, i sent myself through ?'s neighborhood

and since you left that house

the street lost all its charm

and driving down it now

my vision blurs and streaks

there is nothing

but the feeling



as i was writing this my friend opened the door

i said hi, gave him a real hug

and later realized i could try on a different color of shirt